Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Happy Birthday William

Hanging on the wall by my bed growing up was a linen cloth that listed all of Shakespeare's plays, a picture of him, the day he was born, and the day he died. It was one of the last things I saw before going to bed - April 23rd, 1564 - April 23rd, 1616. I thought it was pretty cool that he died on the same day as his birthday. It made for a nice balance. I know other kids probably had pictures of some teen heart throb, but not this nerd (though I did have a poster of the fabulous Divine Miss M as well). My family also had a board game called The Globe. The goal was to be the first one to make it to the theater, moving forward by correctly guessing quotes from Shakespeare's plays. Yep, not your Chutes and Ladders kind of game. One of my favorite quotes is from Twelfth Night:
If music be the food of love, play on, Give me excess of it; that surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die.

The sentiment is fitting today, as I just happened upon this youtube of k.d. lang singing Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, and cannot stop playing it ( Her voice is sublime. Methinks William would have approved.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Matrix

The definition of matrix comes from a derivation of the word, mater, the mother. I suppose I am on a mother theme for these last posts. Obviously, I should have finished the translation of the tarot spread I did on the Wachowski Brothers and gotten it out of my system. The more energy work I do, the more I realize how prophetic their movie, The Matrix, truly is. The movie is brilliant on so many levels, crossing many schools of thought. Unplugging from a negative matrix gave Neo his life back. Prior to this awakening, he, like most of mankind, was being used by a giant computer network as batteries to feed its engine. In order to maintain this imprisonment of humans, it was necessary for them to be "fed" a world hologram so that they wouldn't question or even be aware of not being truly alive, but merely Soylent Green material for the behemoth. Neo learns to work with energy, and as he gets more proficient, he is finally able to see energy in its simplest formula, zeros and ones. Once he is able to see it, he is able to flow with its power, as it is his power. But, for individuals to become aware of their power is a threat to any large organization, especially if it thrives off the life blood of its people. Like a fish in water, the only way to escape a toxic environment is to release oneself, and step out of the negative paradigm. I refer to negative paradigms as holograms, or false matrices. A hologram is any situation a human finds him or herself in that is not healthy, spiritually or physically (which are truly the same state for a being). Outwardly it can take the form of an organized group or world view, or merely a group of one, wherein the individual lets a self destructive thought swim along an endless loop in his or her head. This hologram usually causes one to turn to an addiction to feed the non truths, which only exacerbate the negative paradigm. I liken it to an addict shooting black tar heroin into his bloodstream. The drug merely masks the lies, while also damaging the body, the temple of the soul. The addiction is not limited to tangible drugs, but includes the whole gamut, from food to plastic surgery to toxic relationships.

In The Matrix, Morpheus believed in Neo. In classical mythology, Morpheus is the god of dreams. We are Neo. Neo is an anagram for the one. We are all capable of being guided by our dreams. Once the individual is ready (either by getting Morpheus to offer them the blue pill, or just for the asking) he or she can start the purification process that comes from freeing him or herself from a negative hologram. After this awakening the true healing can begin. The original matrix was made from love as its source. While the journey is unique for everyone, the goal of healing is to be one again with the mother, the source of all unconditional love, compassion and nurturance. Fortunately, those who seek do find answers. Like a good mystery, these answers are given as clues along the way, like an Easter egg hunt or good Agatha Christie novel. The journey, while painful at times, is always a positive and ultimately rewarding path. The pain is finite, the joy is infinite. Weaving back to the Wachowski Brothers, I think they channeled a story so powerful, that they are still reeling from the aftershocks of releasing such a mind blowing saga (V for Vendetta was good, but not great). I label their work an epic saga, as their tale will become a classic, alongside in the pantheon with Homer's Odyssey, and the Nibelungenlied (the Ring cycle). The Devil card is the outcome card of their spread. If they do not spontaneously combust from the aftershock of releasing this potent message, and instead incorporate the knowledge they received from this endeavor into creation rather than addiction, then look for them to continue to tap into information from previously unseen dimensions and produce more paradigm shifting work. Homer also wrote the Iliad, no small trifle, so there is reason to hope the Wachowski Brothers become the Homers of our generation, and gift us with more engaging tales.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Diogenes seeking an honest man

When distilled down to pure energy, there are two kinds of men. There are the ones who understand and appreciate the goddess, and there are those who are afraid of and intimidated by the goddess and her power. Joy is pure energy, and if it gets twisted along the way, transforms into angry energy, like gunk build up in a fuel tank. The mother is truly the source of all original energy. From her emanates all the unconditional love that fuels the planet and all those who get to enjoy life on this wonderful piece of goodness. It is sad that anyone would be threatened by the goddess, and yet there is so much resistance in the form of anger that gets thrown in her direction. Fortunately, there are more men that do appreciate the power of the goddess, and therefore one is comforted that mankind is headed in a positive direction. Given that the balance is moving forward just enough to use its own weight to propel itself forward, like the great wheel of life, we also have to trust that when the energy gets to the bottom of the wheel, that though the energy may be lacking in oomph, thanks to gravity, we ultimately know that it will regain the momentum to move up and around again. The cycle of life and death and renewal again. And, speaking of those who have left, today is the birthday of one of my favorite college professors, and loyal fan of the goddess. To fall back on cliched descriptors, as he wore them like a tailored suit, Roger Brown was a classy scholar and bon vivant. He was brilliant, handsome, and elegant, and carried himself with a fluid languidness. He wrote a poignant chapter in the second edition of his social psychology text, about being an obsessed fan of the famed opera soprano, Renata Scotto. He even joked that he was half in love, and felt some shame in admitting that his self esteem was tied in with her successes and failures. As one of the preeminent pundits in the field of psycholinguistics, it was amusing to hear him once taking umbrage with the D.M.V.'s classification of his champagne colored Mercedes as "yellow." In his later years, he came out about his homosexuality and published an extremely revealing journal about seeking the love he never achieved with his life partner, only to be taken by Adonis' out to rob him of his money and self respect. I mention this revelation as someone once asked him (Roger being a psychologist and scholar in the field) whether his childhood, which he recounted had been a never ending fight to compete with four brothers for his mother's attention, if that dynamic could have been the origin of his homosexuality. He said, even if it was, it was worth it. I loved that response. Whether he had a sexual attraction to women, or not, he revered his mother, the goddess. No wonder he was such an integral individual in my development, and many others who adored him. A man who acknowledges the goddess is a very strong man, and thus a bright light for those around him. Happy Birthday, Roger. Your light shines bright.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Happy Friday

What I love about seasons is that the more you attune to the changes, the more variation you get to witness. An Indian tour guide once told me that there were seven distinct seasons in India. In Portland, we have been enjoying wild daffodils and grape hyacinth for the past month, and now the tulips are blooming, and the lilies are next up. Then come the dahlias, and sunflowers, and our yummy vegetable garden. The last bit of summer brings the walnut and fig harvest, ripe with fruit. We have to compete with the squirrels for the walnuts, and lost out to them last year. Hopefully, they will share this year and our neighbor, Cindy, will make her delicious banana walnut bread. Food is love when it comes from a tended garden, and has that extra dollop when it is wrapped in baked goodness from a neighbor.

Thursday, April 10, 2008


I love it when I am moved by a person's presence, or words. There is a truth that surrounds both the words, and the individual, like a radiant aura. That truth vibrates and makes you step back and say, "Huh...whoa...I want to remember that." Or, I say "Sheeeeet...." like the unforgettable lowlife politician, Clay Davis, in The Wire. Two of the people that always stop me in my tracks are Dave Chappelle, and Maya Angelou. Each is unique in his or her delivery, and in the format in which each conveys his or her world view. Chappelle tends to make me laugh, and Dr. Angelou tends to make me cry. So, of course I was blown away yet again by watching the repeat of their meeting together for the Sundance Channel's Iconoclast's series. Chappelle gives utmost reverence to Dr. Angelou, and there is a sweetness in their interaction, and a mutual understanding that transcends generations. I found myself having to write down one sentence of Dr. Angelou's, writing furiously so as not to miss a word - "Without courage, you cannot practice any other virtue consistently." I am a big believer in the Serenity Prayer, and, when I am feeling the need to say the prayer out loud, I ask myself what those three virtues mean in the particular situation in which I have found myself. Dr. Angelou graciously handed me a piece of the puzzle. When you know the universe always provides answers, it is really nice to be hit on the head by the truth when it is presented with such eloquence.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Inspired by Nun-Sense

Yesterday, I was in a funk, and had been for the past few days, so I decided to call my favorite nun, Sister Denise. She had just come back from swimming at her Bally's in Southern California. Now, mind you, she is in her 80s. We had a really nice chat. Fast forward to today. I was still in my funk, so I knew it was time to go to the gym and use the free weights and to take a steam. I also belong to a Bally's that has a tiny two lane lap pool. I hate having to deal with other people in the narrow lanes. But, I thought, if Sister Denise can do it, so can I. I quickly changed into my ratty, baggy Speedo, which hangs down to my knees, and headed to the pool area. As Margo, my honey's hilarious Aunt from Lebanon would say, "Tanks be to God"...there was no one in the pool! I had it all to myself. Except, of course, for the angels Sister Denise must have sent ahead so I could enjoy the experience. Thank you for your blessings, Sister Denise. And, yes, magically the funk has dissipated. The picture I posted is not Sister Denise, but I think she wouldn't mind being compared to a sweet lab that radiates unconditional love, while looking beatific at the same time. I do not know who took this picture, so I cannot credit him or her, other than to thank anonymous. Someone sent it to me, and it makes me smile.